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Atheists case made for them

posted on January 26th, 2006 by jay
Gun to head, yo
The guy on the ground represents "quality."

50 Cent’s new game Bulletproof has sold over a million copies. I have not played the game, but despite this I will say it is bad. I wasted hours of my life watching Battlefield Earth just to be “objective” and guess what, everyone else was right. Bulletproof has bad to terrible reviews so I’m running with the idea that it sucks.

So what does this tell us about the industry, and if I can editorialize wildly and blow things hugely out of proportion, life itself? It says that image is not just 100% of what people look for because that implies a neutral stance towards knowledge. It implies people go out of their way to ignore reality, fight to maintain ignorance and probably should not be given the right to vote for their leaders.

When games like Psychonauts, Eternal Darkness, Ico and Beyond Good and Evil have trouble selling thousands and pieces of crap like Bulletproof sell millions, you know that one of two things is true:

  • Whatever religion you believe in is a cruel joke. There can obviously be no deity or being who gives a shit about justice or good music. Although, if you are a Satanist this may only strengthen your belief that he is almighty.
  • The rapture is coming. Revelations made it pretty clear that gangsta rap would bring the end of days and Joseph Lieberman has done his best to warn us. The good news about this, besides sinners burning in the wake of destruction, is that VU Games won’t be able to spend the money they made on Bulletproof.
Marketing geniuses
A Vivendi Universal marketing team discusses the best way to reach Bulletproof’s target audience of hos, bitches and niggas.

This is a bad sign for the video game industry (Bulletproof, not the rapture). The industry has become as blatantly crappy as Hollywood, but a good portion of the blame belongs on the hollow heads of stupid people who buy terrible games instead of good ones. I suspect the real culprit may be a lack of curiosity and desire to be informed. My completely scientific estimation I just made up is one in every four people who bought Bulletproof has ever read a game review and five of every four are illiterate. So, ultimately, shouldn’t we blame the schools for not teaching our children that 50 Cent is stupid?

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