posts by golden jew
golden jew

Review – The Ship

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This game is 50% murder, 50% fashion.

Wander over to the video game design laboratory, and mix together a bizarre concoction of FPS, the Sims, and old school board game Clue, and you’ve got yourself The Ship Online, a Steam based game developed by Outer Limits. Originally a mod for Half-Life, The Ship followed in Counters Strike’s footsteps of selling out. In this fun filled game, you run around a 1930’s luxury cruise ship, being hunted by other passengers while seeking your own quarry to cruelly execute through any number of bizarre ways.

Ordinarily, I couldn’t care less about a game’s back story, but in The Ship’s case it’s helpful to explain the game’s bizarre premise and how it plays out. For whatever reason, you are on board a Cruise liner courtesy of a Mr. →  Read the rest

An E3 for the proletariat: Golden Jew’s final thoughts

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Another year, another E3. This marked the third E3 I have attended. Obviously, this year’s big focus was on the new console systems: Second Generation Xbox 360 games, the Wii, and the PS3.

Last year, after seeing the preview for the Xbox 360, the teaser demo for the PS3, and hearing about the Wii (then called the Revolution, a time which will be remembered as “Heterosexual Nintendo”), I was stoked. I boldly declared to my friends that this next generation of consoles would be remembered as a big turning point in gaming. Finally–at last–systems would have standard support for the goodies that make PC gaming so much fun (hard drives, keyboards, online connectivity), combined with native HD support and some serious rendering muscle. Finally, console makers would get it, and we were in for what would be some seriously high powered, interactive, and most importantly, fun, gaming. →  Read the rest

Lame E3 pics 3

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Click the pic for an annoying pop up window with a bigger pic.

Welcome to Wii World.

A drum simulation. Wow.

A baseball simulation. Wower.

Finally, something that looks like a real game.

Smashy smashy.

Colorful controllers.

Variety of controllers.

And finally, the system all the fuss is over:

Lame E3 pics 2

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Click a pic to make it bigger.

Did any one else have any idea Enix is pronounced Eh-nicks and not Ee-nicks?

Despite being a Ryu clone, Akira is still the star of the Virtua Fighter series.

His name is “El Blaze”, which translates as “The Blaze.”

If I get this game I’ll have Burning Crusade and burning itch.

Finally, we know where all of Blizzard’s revenue goes to: buying giant dolls.

WoW statue, or Golden Jew? We may never know.

Lame E3 pics 1

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Click on a pic to make it really big.

Inside:

Welcome to E3, a terrorists wet dream.

More hoards of people.

The real inside:

They make it dark so you can’t see the faulty wiring in the ceiling.

Damn it, my wallet’s missing.

Tom Clancy must’ve creeped up behind me in the shadows and stolen it.

The downside of being a liberal is you feel guilty for not allowing everyone to voice their opinions. Thus, I bring you booth babes:

What’s that sword hiding?

Another obligatory booth babe pic.

An E3 for the proletariat: Console wars and Wii hands on

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The big thing, of course, at this year’s E3 was the console showdown. First, you have the second generation of Xbox360 games, which look to be, as expected, a vast improvement over the first generation. Next, you have the PS3, which, frankly, looks unimpressive. And last, of course, is the Wii. As I started writing this, I was standing in a line so long for the Wii that if the damn thing doesn’t make my dick grow two inches and women love me even more, it was a waste of time.

I’d like to touch on the upcoming price war, and wonder what the fuck Sony is thinking. Sony has always been positioned as the Cadillac of systems, targeting adults focuses on superior performance and typically a very robust game offering. →  Read the rest

An E3 for the proletariat: Impressions Part 2

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As last time, coverage is by our street team of Golden Jew, Horatio, Noah and Ben.

World of Warcraft (PC)
At this point, you probably know all the data you need to from the internet, so I’ll focus on some chats I had with one of the Blizzard reps that was patrolling their demo area. When I asked what he was most excited about in the expansion, he said sockets. My main question was if sockets would be more helpful than most current end game crafting (ie, everything but alchemy except for resist gear), and he said for sure. He also indicated they will be adding to end game crafting in the expansion.

I asked about release dates for Naxxramas and the expansion, and all he would say for Naxx was “Summer.” →  Read the rest

An E3 for the proletariat: Impressions Part 1

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Compiled by Golden Jew, Horatio, Noah and Ben, Videolamer’s field reporters.

Dynasty Warriors Vol 2 (PSP)
I liked this game quite a bit. I was a huge fan of the Dynasty Warriors series on the PS2 till I realized every game was exactly the same. After my 1,000,000 kill (Cao Cao: Truly, you are a brave warrior! And you have no life!) I burnt out. However, I was really impressed with the PSP version of this game. Gameplay was the norm in terms of hacking things to pieces (repetitive, yet strangely fun). What was very cool is that the battle system is a large grid shaped specially for each campaign and that each army (some computer controlled, and one led by you, naturally the most productive one) moves about.

You have various conditions for victory and defeat that center around a time limit (supplies) and then key objectives. →  Read the rest

A multiplayer world

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Raph may want to think about updating his pic on his website.

The other day I was listening to the Penny Arcade podcast, specifically The Zone of Breakfast. First off, a quick shameless fanboy plug: although our glorious cult leader (may he always provide for us Kool-Aid), Jay, dislikes these guys, I’ve always been a huge PA fan. In particular, I enjoy their new podcasts because I get to listen to a lot of video game news I ordinarily would not. Rather than do research and reading, I can just listen to the voices from the computer, which is more comfortable to me, because I am illiterate and hear voices in my head. Anyhow, they were discussing a comment that Raph Koster, a designer for both Ultima Online and Star Wars Galaxies made at a E3 several years ago. →  Read the rest

World of Warcraft Endgame Analysis part V

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Parts: I | II | III | IV | V

Endgame Analysis

Hardcore instance running is essentially the “endgame” of endgames. As a result, it is subject to a few annoying things. First off, whatever the “toughest” 40 man instance is starts out at a near impossible level to complete. This is because Blizzard doesn’t want you to be able to “beat the game,” so to speak.

Molten Core’s first pull, for example, initially required battling three very tough “trash” monsters that were harder than all of the other trash up to the first few bosses: thus effectively cockblocking the instance for most guilds. After a few months, this pull was broken into two pulls: and Blizzard announced this as a “bug.” This “bug” fix allowed dozens of guilds previously stopped to pour into MC as a whole. →  Read the rest

World of Warcraft Endgame Analysis part IV

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Parts: I | II | III | IV | V

Hardcore Instance Running

Ok, you’re a l33t powergamer. What is there for you when you hit 60 th level? Find 39 other friends and you’re ready to form a raid group for the baddest of the bad:

Red
This lovely lavafront property can be had for a cool $499,999. Dragon not included

Molten Core
The “original” hardcore dungeon, Molten Core was the first 40 man dungeon available. However, because it has been around for so long, it has been successively “nerfed” (made easier) in difficulty as new content has become available. As a result, at this point in time, the hardest part of Molten Core is finding 35-40 other people to get together at the same time and go raid it. The encounters, compared to the other 20 and 40 man instances, are fairly trivial (although still a challenge for someone who hasn’t worked in a 40 man team before). →  Read the rest

World of Warcraft Endgame Analysis part III

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Parts: I | II | III | IV | V

Casual Instance Running

Thousands of gold in epic gear… and I’d trade it all for a can of raid.

For those not inclined to PvP (or to augment their PvP activities), the bulk of their end game is spent in casual instances. These instances are capped at 5-15 players (about to be reduced to 5-10 depending on the instance in the upcoming 1.10 patch of World of Warcraft). One thing to point out about World of Warcraft, is that initially, dungeons can take quite long to clear out, especially if the group is not competent. An adventuring group needs to learn how to the “trash monsters” (non boss monsters in a dungeon) as well as the bosses. Due to the age of the game, the process to beating most encounters and dungeons in the game are already well known. →  Read the rest

World of Warcraft Endgame Analysis part II

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Parts: I | II | III | IV | V

PVP

Player versus Player (PVP) primarily occurs through three “instanced” battlegrounds: Warsong Gulch, a capture the flag game that features 10v10, Arathi Basin, a king of the hill game that is 15v15, and Alterac Valley, which is an objective based wargame which is 40v40. There is some “world PvP,” on PvP servers, but for the most part, PvP grinding is accomplished via these three PvP games.

Players
PvP

PvP advancement occurs in two ways. The first is the honor system. As you win PvP games and kill other players, you are awarded “honor points.” Every week, your honor points are totaled and compared against the rest of the server’s grisly accomplishments. Depending on your performance, you are promoted or demoted in rank (or more likely stay the same). →  Read the rest

World of Warcraft Endgame Analysis part I

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Parts: I | II | III | IV | V

So, you’ve made it to 60 th level. Good, Blizzard claims that World of Warcraft truly begins at 60 th level (or so someone once told me in my guild). But it’s also a shame because there are a good number of instances (dungeons that are personal to your group) that get passed up or breezed through… but that’s a discussion for another time.

Cute but deadly
This kid’s undead rogue will pwn you.

Meanwhile, you’ve arrived at 60th level. One important thing to know about WoW is that character advancement is predominantly determined by items. Up until the most recently added pair of dungeons, Ahn Qiraj (a 20 and 40 man version), there was no way to update your character’s core skills at level 60 (AQ lets you get “books” for new character abilities). →  Read the rest

Review – Galactic Civilizations II

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Galactic Civilizations II: Dread Lords
Developed by Stardock
Published by Stardock
Released 2.27.06
Ships duke it out in deep space.

4x Space Strategy fans, your prayers have been answered. Although Gal Civ 2 isn’t quite what Master of Orion 3 should’ve been, it has a wonderful balance of the detail fun fans of the genre crave without the tedium that can be overwhelming. After that teaser trailer, how couldn’t you want to read on?

First off, let me say I never played Galactic Civ 1. So from that standpoint, I was a neophyte to the series, which greatly contributed to my learning curve issues. One of my biggest frustrations is it took me a solid five or so hours to figure out what the hell was going on in the game, but eventually it all gelled together. →  Read the rest

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Gold Farmers: Destroying the Fun (and economy) of MMORPG’s

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If you have not read Billy’s take on gold farmers, you may want to now.

Anyone who plays World of Warcraft knows them: they often have strange names (Ihugirls, Jobsister), but they may also have a name unnoticeable from others. Their guild tag might be your average WoW lore fluff, or it could be something along the lines of “Knightsofthepiratekitty.” They play as much, if not more, as any hardcore addict: 8-12 hour days. But rather than roaming about the game’s many dungeons and zones, you find them in them alternating between the auction house and the same hot spots: Winterspring hunting herbs, camping elites in Tyr’s Hand, or patrolling Burning Steppes for rich thorium veins. Every hour of the day.

Who are they? Gold farmers. Somewhere along the line, people figured out that there was in fact more money to be made in the secondary market of MMORPG’s (selling gold, items, and characters) than their was in the primary market (selling subscriptions). →  Read the rest

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Review – Weird Worlds

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Weird Worlds: Return to Infinite Space
Developed by Digital Eel
Published by Shrapnel Games
Released 11.4.05

Deep space
Unknown seldom means good in deep space…

I am one of those lucky people who is blessed with a job that is mostly unsupervised, and is prone to periods of downtime. As a result, I often find myself paid to play video games. Unfortunately, I am often required to get to work on a moment’s notice, thus precluding most online games from combating my work boredom. Further, my work laptop can’t quite run Civilization 4 at the speed I’d like it to. I found myself stumped for something good to pass the time.

I had seen a plug for Weird Worlds: Return to Infinite Space on Penny Arcade a few weeks ago, and figured what the hell. →  Read the rest

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