posts by jay
jay

60…45 Reasons to own a PSP

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PSP Fanboy started a series of articles back in June extolling the wonders of the PSP. The 60 Reasons to Own a PSP series was written (by a reader of the blog) to illuminate how amazing the PSP system is. And amazing it is, with reasons such as “Has buttons” and “Runs on electricity” on the list, there is no denying the PSP is the best system ever

Realizing any reasons beyond “has good games”, “costs less than the PS3” and possibly “not fatal if ingested” were unnecessary, videolamer wrote a parody of the article that simply looked at a bunch of DS games and labeled each game a reason to own the DS. We sent PSP Fanboy the article but have yet to hear back from them. They are too busy writing their 60 reasons, perhaps. →  All the lonely gamers, where do they all come from?

Dreamcast Mania! – Canceled games: PC Ports

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The Dreamcast was home to many excellent games, but due to its early demise, it was also home to many canceled games. These games, though varied, can be broken up into three main categories – ports of PC games, games that made it to other consoles, and games that never came out. Today, we will look at the PC ports and imagine how things would have turned out had the Dreamcast lasted a few more years.

Black and White
What was it?
A very well received god sim by Peter Molyneux.

Would it have been good?
Probably but it would be infuriating without the Dreamcast mouse.

Would it have sold?
Yes but not nearly as well as on the PC. Complex PC games and console games have different audiences.

Would it have actually come out? →  18 Wheeler American Pro Reader

Sony’s Jamie Macdonald lies to Spong

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Digg led me to a hilariously bad review of Bioshock today. The site the review is on is called Sony Defense Force and, luckily, the entire site is hilarious. It may be a parody but it’s hard to tell, especially after the All I Want For Christmas is a PSP debacle.

Browsing the SDF page, I came across this gem of a story: PS2 still outselling Wii in all Major Markets. The bloggers own comments are excellent – “Looks like Wii won’t even be able to catch PS2. Get ready for another Sony dominated generation.” More importantly, the quote from Jamie Macdonald is an obvious lie:

“Jamie Macdonald: Could I just point something out – that PlayStation 2 is still outselling Wii in all the major markets.”

Unless he delivered this interview from last year, he is wrong. →  Readius III and IV

Kotaku suggests you buy a shirt

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From their sponsor. I assumed this shameless plug would be met with boos and hisses from commentors, but instead readers were content with discussing the merits of the t-shirt. At least they realized it was stupid and unfunny.

Blogs are a powerful tool for marketers because unlike “objective” journalists, bloggers want readers to want to be their friends. Just between the two of us, let me tell you a secret – Huggies makes the best diapers. This reminds me of the days of Cousin Brucie on the oldies station. As a child, I was always confused when he would take a break from announcing the next song in order to tell us about a sale at Rockaway Bedding, or explain that Dr. Zizmore was THE dermatologist in NYC. Just as I trusted the Cous, Kotaku readers trust Mark Wilson. →  Are you a bad enough dude to rescue the article?

A death in the family – Sega leaves the hardware business and I rediscover video games

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Towards the end of highschool I stopped gaming. For the first time, I had a girlfriend, was preparing to go to college, and had a wicked meth habit. Beyond these time wasting activities, something about video games seemed to have changed. Though I had been a Sega faithful since the Master System, my highschool days marked the first console generation I spent in bed with a Sega competitor. I loved the PS1, but it didn’t carry me through to the PS2 by any means.
More fun than games?

I don’t even remember the launch of the Dreamcast. Murmurs of Sega’s new system made their way through school but I knew it was destined to failure and didn’t have the time to care. Freshman and sophomore years of college were spent playing Diablo 2 with roommates, hanging out, surfing the web and strung out on heroin. →  Reading. Reading never changes.

Why does the Wii have so many terrible games?

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I’m not particularly upset about Nintendo’s shift towards casual gamers. Wario Ware, Animal Crossing, and Mario Kart are all awesome series and if I need a second console to play long jRPGs then so be it. Even if expanding the market somehow eliminates niches that are occupied by Japanese RPG developers, which seems counterintuitive, there will still be more good games than I have time to play.

What upsets me about Nintendo is how they allow publishers to use the Wii as a toilet. Boogie could have easily been a good game but it seems EA just gave up halfway through development. Sega had an unknown (to me at least) developer work on their Alien Syndrome game. The best way to pay homage to an arcade classic and to revitalize a franchise is not by making a mediocre game. →  It’s not you, it’s me.

Weekly News We Care About Wrap Up – 7.27.07

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Microsoft sort of wants you to buy an HD DVD add on
$20 off is not a good deal for something that costs $200, but that’s the amazing deal Microsoft is giving us on their 360 HD DVD add on. The move feels like a last ditch effort to make it appear that they still have a chance at beating the Blu Ray format. What is it with these companies that are desperate but not willing to allow this desperation to save me a lot of money? The PS3 should cost $300 and the 360 HD DVD doohickey should retail for $19.95.

Then there’s the prevalence of bundle deals. In addition to the twenty big ones you’d save buying the HD DVD drive, you’d also get five free movies. Choose from classics like Seabiscuit, Chronicles of Riddick, and Tomb Raider. →  Virtua Poster 4: Evolution

Nintendo to the future, “Emulate this!”

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This morning while showering I thought about the usual – video games. Specifically, I thought about the article we did on DS games and how some people reacted by saying the PSP is backwards compatible with every old console someone wrote an emulator for. After mulling over the pros and cons of that argument, I spent some time pondering the future of emulation and something struck me. Unless motion control and touch control become ubiquitous, the DS and Wii will not be emulatable by anyone not willing to put in huge amounts of effort.

Nintendo has always had a particularly strong fear of piracy. Primarily because CDs are so easily duplicated, Nintendo gave the N64 a cart slot. For the same reason, they burned Gamecube games onto mini-DVDs.

After a lather rinse repeat, it struck me that Nintendo’s new systems may not be different only to capture new audiences, but to prevent emulation. →  SNK Article Classics Vol. 1

How do you play a non-game?

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Language is powerful, which is a shame since I’m not a very good writer. Instead of bringing “war” to Iraq we are bringing “freedom”, and instead of being “the worst American president in the last 300 years”, Bush has “a low approval rating”. Debating the merits of something specific may work for thoughtful people, but it’s much easier to simply change people’s minds by changing how we refer to things.

And so we have non-games. First, I must explain that I am not taking a stance on the quality of any game, non-game or partial-game. It’s a shame that this needs to be said but many people confuse the debate over language as a debate over what the language describes.

“I’m not sure the terrorists hate us because of our freedom.” →  Read, you fools!

Nintendo’s E3 conference also sucks

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Nintendo’s E3 presentation was as bad as Microsoft. Had they not announced release dates of games I want, I’d probably say worse. Highlights:

– Bragging
– Charts
– Release dates
– Montages
– Charts
– Wii Zapper, which will come with a game (how about a game that comes with the zapper instead of a zapper that comes with a shitty after thought of a pack in?)
– Mario Kart coming early next year with online races and a stupid plastic steering wheel. Also with the new feature of “skill not mattering” that levels the playing field for all new gamers
– Charts
– Bad puns
– Montages
– High School Musical, the amazing game based off of the movie of the same name
– Wii Fit, complete with Wii Pad to Wii stand on

I thought Reggie was supposed to not suck. →  Read it your way.

Microsoft E3 Presentation – Disney movies on Live!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Boy did Microsoft’s E3 presentation bore me. Here were the highlights:

– Disney movies coming to Xbox Live
– Short trailers for some good games including Resident Evil 5, Lost Odyssey, GTA4 and the new Call of Duty
– Sales spin – the 360 is expanding the video game market by leaps and bounds
– G4 cutting away during important moments and generally confirming they are actually a local college station
– Many new Live Arcade games
– Scene It, the boring board game, now coming to the 360 complete with easy to use controller for grandma
– Jeff Bell proving there is no God simply by existing
– New grayish green 360 to celebrate Halo 3
– Speech on how awesome MSs third party support is that ignored that Japan largely ignores MS
– Gears of War coming to the PC
– OMFG Disney movies!!!11 →  Read Dead Redemption

Weekly News We Care About Wrap Up – 6.29.07

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Capcom not merging with another company
Sega and Sammy did it, Square and Enix did it, so why not Capcom? Imagine the awesomeness of Capnomi — crossovers like Phoenix Wright Solid, Gradius May Cry, and Silent Resident Evil Hill would delight fans worldwide.

Unfortunately (or fortunately if you live in the real world), Capcom won’t be merging with another company any time soon. They did announce they would go the Sega route of buying a bunch of crappy Western developers, at least. We can only hope Capcom nonchalantly hands over enormous franchises for their new developers to systematically destroy.

Dragon’s Lair DS
This game gets a bad rap just because it’s basically not interactive in any way. It’s true that if Dragon’s Lair came out today on the PS3 and looked amazing but offered little to no gameplay, my throat would be sore from all the screaming about how shitty it is. →  Jet fuel can’t melt videolamer.

Playing catch up: Chrono Trigger

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I finally finished Chrono Trigger, and only 12 years late. Not too bad. Much like Super Mario World, this is another classic that deserves the accolades it has received. I only hope Link to the Past and Final Fantasy 4 are Chrono Trigger good. Though because of the game’s quality characterization, I am now slightly depressed.

It has been pretty uncommon in my life, but now and then a game comes along that affects me like a great movie or novel does. Now that there is no more to see, what happens to the characters? Crono, whose name is a typo because of the apparent five character limit in the game, was the standard silent protagonist and I don’t give a damn about him. But Frog, Magus, Lucca and Robo I do care about. →  Welcome to the Fantasy Zone.

Weekly News We Care About Wrap Up – 6.18.07

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Sony announces 9,648,319 games by March 08
Unfortunately, they counted each individual household a game would end up in as a unique game. If you don’t count your copy of God of War 3 as a different game from my copy, then 145 or more PS3 titles are coming.

Sonic RPG on DS being developed by Bioware
Funny, whimsical RPGs can be cool. Mario’s Super Star Saga and the whole Paper Mario series attest to this. Cute, colorful cartoon characters in RPGs can hold their own, too. Kefka may look silly this day in age, but he is still insanely evil. So what is so horrendous about a Sonic RPG? I’m glad you asked.

Sonic is uninteresting in every possible way. Running fast makes for a subpar to decent action game (or awesome 2D platformer) but is not solid foundation to build a character on. →  You think about everything.

Sony decides PS3 is making a comeback

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Offering no sales figures or other sales facts, Sony CEO declared, “All the production problems have been solved. We are making a comeback already.” It seems Sony has figured out how important image is and so they’ve decided to take it upon themselves to tell the media what their image is. It would not be at all shocking if the PS3 begins to make a comeback only because an article has printed that it is making a comeback. Microsoft should try this tactic with the Zune.

In other breaking news, videolamer’s popularity is growing beyond all expectations.

Behind the names of our favorite companies and consoles

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Gamers speak the names of companies and systems on a daily basis, but many of us don’t know what these words actually mean nor their origin. And so here is a list of many of the biggest companies and consoles and what information is openly known about their names. I speak absolutely no Japanese and have no new information to add to this planet, but I have not seen all this info neatly compiled in one spot before. Thanks to Japanmanship and others who had already done much research on the topic.

Companies


Microsoft – Micro Instrumentation and Telemetry Systems created the microcomputer Altair 8800 and Bill Gates offered to implement BASIC on their system. Micro is either from the Micro in the MITS company name or the micro in microcomputer, or both. →  Ask not what this post can do for you - ask what you can do for this post.

Gamefly says NO to Adult Only games

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Gamefly refuses to carry Manhunt 2 if its Adults Only rating sticks. Anyone who is a Gamefly member must be at least 18 years of age and have a credit card. This means Gamefly is telling its adult customers that they should not be playing adult games. Fuck Gamefly, I’m glad I don’t use their service.

Though not an exact fit, this letter I wrote to Wal-Mart regarding the Hot Coffee scandal is still apropos:

“Thank you for being a family friendly store. Capitalism will never work if we just allow people to buy whatever they want. We need more huge corporations to stand up to products Jesus wouldn’t like and say, ‘No. Our customers do not want this.’ Freedom of choice is just a euphemism for evil and I applaud you in your efforts to cut down on evil. →  All the lonely gamers, where do they all come from?

Breaking News: Big Japanese publisher to release crappy games on Wii

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According to Screen Digest, one major Japanese third party publisher said, “We’re running a business, not to win awards but to make money — if we make breakeven plus on Wii then we are happy.” This translates to “We will port a lot of PS2 games to the Wii and develop real games for other consoles. The neutrality of Screen Digest has been disputed on some popular gaming forums, but assuming this quote is accurate, it still boggles my mind.

I was an economics minor and want to pretend my parents 120k were well spent, so please roll with this haphazard attempt at a proof:

First, we must necessarily assume that profit comes first because the quote indicates this is true. This rules out the idea that 3rd party publishers are saving their big games for HD and fancy processors simply because the developers want to work on them. →  Illiterates hate her! Click to read this one weird trick.

Playing catch up: Super Mario World

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I was a Sega kid. This means different things to different people — I was deluded, I had bad taste, or maybe I loved action games? Yes, somewhat and no. Sega’s consoles gave me plenty of great games to play growing up, and I don’t regret knowing the Phantasy Star and Shining Force series as well as other gamers know the Final Fantasy and Dragon Quest series.

What I do regret is how little I know about the Final Fantasy and Dragon Quest series. Everything in life costs something, even if only time, and playing so many Sega games necessarily meant I had little opportunity for Nintendo games.

Here is a partial, embarrassing list of titles I missed that I still hope to play:

Any Final Fantasy before 6
Any Dragon Quest before 7 and after 1
Link to the Past
Chrono Trigger
Metroid
Super Metroid
Ocarina of Time
Super Mario World

Before yesterday, I had never played Super Mario World. →  Michigan: Article from Hell

Little things that make a big difference: Visible enemies in RPGs

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Playing Chrono Trigger today, I noticed what a nice change of pace being able to see enemies on the screen was. The Saga games may be another RPG that shows bad guys, but that series does it in a way that makes wandering maps akin to a running play in 10 Yard Fight. Chrono’s enemies are different.

Sure, you can avoid many of them, but the little animation they run through pre-battle goes a long way to immerse us in their world. These aren’t invisible baddies who materialize randomly – they’re always out there, even if they’re hiding in the bushes.

Shining the Holy Ark modified this concept of stumbling upon villains in their native environment. Enemies don’t frolic like they do in Chrono Trigger, but rather make an entrance unto the battlefield worthy of a celebrity. →  You reading at me?