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Bullshit, eat fresh!

posted on June 2nd, 2007 by jay

Has anyone else seen the recent Subway commercial that has a fat kid playing a Pacman clone? The game seems to consist of controlling a fat kid (not to be confused with the fat kid who is actually playing the game) and eating donuts and cake. For the sake of your time, I’ll ignore the shoddy game design and collision detection.

It’s harder to ignore the gist of the commercial, though. “What kind of eating habits are you kids learning?” it asks. America is the fattest country in the world. If little porkers are learning how to have multiple heart attacks, I guarantee it’s not video games that are teaching them. Why doesn’t Subway make an honest commercial that shows Fat Junior’s hippopotamus parents scarfing down fried hot dogs?

Because then fat people everywhere would be offended, despite the frequent truth that lard ass parents make pudgy kids. Instead, Subway took the honorable route and attacked a minority that’s something of a media punching bag. Video games may be an easy target, but Subway is still really reaching. Violent games turning kids into lunatics is one thing, and is at least capable of making sense because games are violent. But where are caloric consumption games? Unless you’re trapped in 1982 with only an Atari and Burger Time, the odds are you are not playing games encouraging you to eat a lot.

I’ve sent an irate email to Subway explaining that Jared was a fat fuck because he sat on his ass and ate mayonnaise all day, not because a game told him he should eat more. Video games are quickly becoming the most popular scape goat since Darwinism. It’s only a matter of time before teen pregnancy, lesbianism and 9/11 are blamed on games.


  1. pat said on June 4, 2007:

    i understood this commercial as stating the sedentary lifestyle and snacking that frequently (but not always) coincides with gaming as contributing to the obesity epidemic, which is probably reasonable. while i agree that it is ultimately the parents who are responsible for getting their kids off the couch, inert activities may also share the blame. of course, that means reading is about as culpable as gaming.

  2. Matt said on June 4, 2007:

    Didn’t Jarrod openly blame Nintendo for his obesity problems? Maybe that’s where they got this idea from. And as the picture shows, he’s a big, fat liar, and we shouldn’t listen to big, fat liars.

  3. jay said on June 4, 2007:

    Pat, you must have been watching with your eyes closed. The video game the child was playing was based around eating fatty foods. The voice over then asked about the eating habits our kids are learning. Video games, TV, etc are things people do that lead them to gain weight. That’s fine and true. Very few shows, movies and games teach people to eat poorly, however.

  4. pat said on June 4, 2007:

    more likely i was watching with the sound off. i agree on all counts, but i think i just talk the commercial less literally than you did. i’ll use my liberal arts background and years of deconstructing literature as my defense.

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