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Banjo Kazooie – Does Anyone Care?

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The answer to the title is “no” – no one cares about the new Banjo Kazooie that is likely to be released. Let us break down the modern history of Rare.

Star Fox Adventures – stuck so close to the Zelda formula I’m not sure why they bothered.

Grabbed by the Ghoulies – I almost forgot this one.

Kameo – Less memorable than the PS2 launch titles

Perfect Dark Zero – The biggest joke so far this generation.

Viva Pinata – I did forget about this one. Let’s just say it launched with a cartoon from 4kids Entertainment. They knew what they were doing all along.

Rare has not been relevant in years, and I think has been a good thing for gaming. It means we have not been subjugated to insane amounts of item collecting and character names based on bad puns and stereotypes. →  Read the rest

Something old, new, recycled and blue

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I’ve decided to condense two potential blog posts into one topic, as they are both somewhat similar in nature. I should do this more often, as it seems to force me to take my almost article length ramblings and cut them down into something readable. A win for all.

Some time ago Jay wrote a discussion on Mario and how he is anything but a throwaway character. Interesting then that a “games editor” at Softpedia (a site which I have only known before as a place where I failed to get working drivers) has claimed that mascots like Mario and Sonic should be locked up in a museum and never put into another game, starting right this minute. His reasoning is that they are old and stale, and offer nothing new to the gaming table, hurting the industry more than helping. →  Read the rest

Random Old Game – Drakkhen

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There are few games that can inspire a sense of true exploration – a feeling of awe at how large or detailed they are. Fewer still are the games that can bring out that feeling even after you’ve beaten them. For some reason, despite being only a so-so game in nearly every other respect, Drakkhen (of a few systems, though most notably the SNES) still holds uncounted mysteries in my mind.
Seems fair.

The most likely source of this awe is simply that the game is so abominably random. I never owned the instruction book, and the introduction only gives vagaries as to the plot (blah blah, 4 elements, 2 poles of power). Fact is, you create a party and start in the middle of the Earth area with little direction. →  Read the rest

Echochrome Demo impressions

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Thanks to their simple file format, getting Japan only PSP demos is a snap. Thank goodness, because that means you can play the three level demo of Echochrome without hassle.

EXCITING!

The experience is quite interesting, but I am not completely sold. The stylings are nice and simple – an absolute bare minimal interface, simple levels and constantly looping string music make this the closest thing to therapeutic gaming. Despite the Japanese text, the controls are easy to learn; you can make your stick figure avatar either move faster along the terrain, or stop to “think”, giving you time to do the same. The D-pad of course allows you to rotate the world, which is the mechanic used to solve all the puzzles.

How well does said mechanic fare? It isn’t easy to say from the demo. →  Read the rest

Teabagging and Halo 3 — An Anthropological Study

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The Muffin Buffalo stalks through the corridors and crevasses of The Narrows map on Halo 3. Quietly he roams, picking his targets and releasing them from their mortal coils. He has done this many times before and is good at his job. Out of nowhere, a fellow warrior named SheepandVelcro69 jabs Muffin Buffalo from behind with the butt of his shotgun. Muffin Buffalo lurches forward and then lifelessly drops to the ground. This has also happened to him many times, business as usual, the cycle of death repeats.

But wait, SheepandVelcro69 is not leaving his corpse; does he feel remorse for the act he has just committed? Is he taking a moment of silent reflection to realize that body could just as easily be him lying on the ground? No, our shotgun equipped friend creeps up to Muffin Buffalo’s head, centers himself above the corpse’s cranium and proceeds to drop his crotch up and down on the motionless clump of pixels . →  Read the rest

Microsoft lets a customer down, gamers let humanity down

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When I first saw the headline of this story – Microsoft Erases Gamers Memories – I figured some kid drew a picture of his favorite My Little Pony on the side of his 360 case and Microsoft erased it. That would be a shame, but less crappy than what actually happened. The more accurate story (minus the ponies) – A guy has a 360 since launch, brings it with him everywhere he goes and accumulates a variety of signatures from Microsoft, Bungie and other companies. There is even a large drawing of Master Chief on the system.

So he calls Microsoft after his system inevitably breaks. They assure him that they will send back the same console he is sending in. Just to be safe, he also sends in a chapter of the Bible with Moses crossed out and his name inserted, and “XBox 360” replacing all references to “God”. →  Read the rest

Where Gamers go? No…

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There’s this great little electronics shop near me. I used to loathe them, and I still do for some things, but lately they’ve been picking up the pace in the games department. In the stores near my home and my job, I have found fresh copies of No More Heroes and Zak and Wiki. Back in the summer there were multiple copies of Persona 3 (despite its obscurity and its odd box shape). I have seen Every Extend Extra and King of Fighters XI in $10 bargain bins, and if you really want to get crazy, I can grab you a copy of Metropolismania 2. Today I picked up a copy of Patapon on its release date, though if I ordered it online I could have had free shipping (after watching a lovely trailer on their store website). →  Read the rest

Assassins Creed – A fifty eight thousandth perspective

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Spoiler Alert!

Contrary to its sweet box depicting a stealthy, medieval assassin decked out in (incongruously clanky) ninja-type gear, this is not a game about a medieval assassin. Instead, it is a game about — buckle up, my friend — some guy in the present day who is kidnapped by a mysterious corporation…and forced to repeatedly hook himself up to a machine…that not only can access the stored ancestral memories that lie dormant in his DNA, but can turn these ancient memories into a virtual reality world…that he can interact with in order to unlock additional memories; in his case, the memories of his awesome assassin predecessor…who apparently carried the same gene for white hoodies that he does. Got that? No? Well, through the magic of the printed word, you can read it again. →  Read the rest

PSP Demo Roundup

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Two noteworthy demos have hit the PSP in the last two weeks. Here are some impressions from yours truly:

Patapon: The guys behind locoroco are at it again, this time with their own take on both strategy and music games. Made in a similar, gorgeous 2d style as LocoRoco, Patapon has you lead armies of little Patapons towards victory and freedom. This is done by banging magic, godly drums in order to issue orders to your army. It is a very interesting setup; while the demo only allows you to move and attack, these two commands alone offer quite some depth. Since play alternates between you banging the drums and the Patapon singing and acting in response, you have to time commands while not screwing them up. This is part strategy game after all, so issuing a move command while in attack range is a waste that will cause damage to your units. →  Read the rest

Where to get gaming news

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When it comes to my favorite places for gaming news, I seem to go in cycles. I find one or two sites that I use to learn general (and sometimes subtle) info, and then discover the really obscure stuff through favorite forums. It is a good system, so long as I keep refreshing it by ditching sites when they lose their potency (or just bug me) and finding new ones.

Folks, it has come time for some updates, and I’m looking for suggestions. I finally realized just how much I bitch about game blogs like Kotaku and Joystiq, and yet continued to visit them. Today was the breaking point. This morning Joystiq had seven separate posts about Spore. Any responsible news site would take such a media explosion and condense it into some sort of “Spore news section.” →  Read the rest

Vic Ireland selling off all his games?

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So it would seem. He will even sign them for you but they don’t come cheap. From the eBay auction for Popful Mail:

“Still cleaning out my closets, and I’ve found this brand-new, still sealed copy of Popful Mail for the SEGA CD. As the USA Director/Producer/Writer, I can even autograph it if you wish, making it truly collectible. It’s your choice, with or without the autograph.”

After seeing what a sealed copy of Chrono Trigger fetched on eBay recently, these sealed games may be a good investment. Popful Mail and the Lunar’s are solid titles, but Albert Odyssey, Sega Ages and Shining Wisdom are hard sells, and this is coming from a Sega/Camelot fanatic. Vic must’ve already sold off Vay to pay his electric bill.

This is not a good sign for Gaijin Works, the company he founded after closing niche jRPG house Working Designs. →  Read the rest

School of Shmups: Gradius

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Game: Gradius
Original Release: 1985
Developer: Konami

Platform: Gradius was released on a great number of systems. The most important of its original releases were the arcade version and the NES port, which was technically inferior but was the easiest way for most people to experience it.

How to play it: These days, your best bet for playing Gradius is probably the NES version offered on the Virtual Console. It has some small changes to the level design, and you can only carry two Options, but the rest of the port is very faithful and quite impressive for the NES hardware. If you are purist and need the arcade version, you will have to track down the excellent Gradius Collection on the PSP.

What it is: While not one of the very earliest shmups, Gradius is still something of a pioneer. →  Read the rest

Gametap grows, but is it changing for the worse?

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For the longest time, Gametap was a confident and persistent service that had a vision and, at least content wise, seemed to be making good on their promises. In the last year however, the service has changed considerably. They began supporting original projects, such as the critically loved Sam and Max episodes. They offered a select few games for free every week for anyone to play. Their community site exploded, and now rather than merely offering forums and commentary on their own games, the ‘tap has reviews and commentary about the industry as a whole. Blogs like Joystiq now cover the weekly releases with some semblance of seriousness. Not bad for an idea that no one thought would catch on. As for myself, I have been impressed with Gametap ever since I signed up in the summer of ’06. →  Read the rest

Tales of Tactility

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Remember H.A.L? That evil-genius-space-robot from Clarke/Kubrick’s 2001? It seems like most of the time I hear him mentioned it’s from some miniaturization fetishist from the Church of Jobs (Steve). Something along the lines of “can you believe how big they thought computers would be back in the 60’s?!?!” Nevermind that the ability to create a sentient AI is still far beyond our reach, and that supercomputers still take up entire rooms. Fans of the MacBook Air expect super-intelligent robots to get lost in a container of Tic-Tacs.

But H.A.L’s massiveness underscores a point about machines that gets lost nowadays: that they are composed real objects and are themselves physical as well as intellectual. David Bowman doesn’t defeat H.A.L. by uploading a virus or outrationalizing it until it “cannot compute.” He inserts himself into its innards and takes it apart circuit-board by circuit-board. →  Read the rest

James Mielke – not so Rockstar journalist

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I am simply not a fan of James Mielke over at 1up. The man makes sure constantly that you know how awesome he is, how many contacts and friends he has in the games industry, and how long he has done this. He loves grilling any and all people he thinks are idiots, a title you can seemingly earn by disagreeing with him. If anyone he doesn’t know (or isn’t a pro writer) makes some sort of commentary, he will shoot it down. Apparently you aren’t legit as an amateur – unless 1up finds you.

Normally I just shake my head at this and leave it alone. I simply don’t read his content, and that is that. But I had to take a peek at 1up’s cover story for Devil May Cry 4, considering how much I look forward to the game. →  Read the rest

Defending the Obsidian Knights

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It is now common knowledge that Obsidian was forced to rush the release of Knights of the Old Republic II. As a result, one of the most common complaints about the game is that it has an abrupt ending. As a matter of fact, whenever I would tell any of my videogame savvy friends that I had finally picked up KOTOR II they would almost always unanimously say something along the lines of: “it’s good but the ending is rushed.” I believe it was Jay who actually told me that the game has bits of unfinished dialogue coded into it that the developers were forced to scrap due to time constraints.

After having beaten the game in just over 55 hours (and that’s long enough for me) I don’t see what the big problem is. →  Read the rest

School of Shmups – Intro

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A few blog posts ago, I asked people if they would like an article series devoted to the shoot ’em up genre. The response was solid, and so I begin the endeavor with this introductory article, in which we lay out the rules for our fun. I will also be making sure to link to these rules at the start of each new column, so those who actually try and read won’t accuse me of things I already stated.

Thankfully, the rules are simple. Each article will begin with some basic information about when and where the shmup came from, followed by the best ways to try to play it. After that, we take a look at how the game fits into the genre. As I learn more of the terminology and history regarding shmups, I hope to use this section to look at a game’s influences, its impact, and where it seems to stand in the eyes of the dedicated community. →  Read the rest

Breaking news – Wii sales decent, PS3 the greatest

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Edit 1.26.08: This first interview is likely fake. The odds of a new blog getting first Robbie Bach and then Ken Kutaragi interviews one after another seem infinitesimal. If this is the case, don’t I feel like an ass.

In an interview that shocked the gaming world, Microsoft’s Robbie Bach announced that the Wii is in fact selling. This contradicts earlier reports that the console was an abysmal failure and moved only 14 units this past holiday season.

From Bach:

“At Microsoft we think of the Wii in a different bracket of gaming so its hard to compare the two consoles. The Wii has a very small life cycle and doesn’t compare to the Xbox 360 feature wise. And while it is taking plausible 360 sales its important to notice that Nintendo has created a revolutionary device and Microsoft expected it to sell decent, and the system can afford to sell decent because its very similar to a childs toy. →  Read the rest

A Passage to games as art

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If you have not yet encountered Passage, don’t google it. Don’t go read reviews, don’t even read the comments to this post.
It only takes 5 minutes to play the game, and you would have spent that long reading. So just play it, and remember that you can explore up and down as well as left to right.

Here’s the Windows version
and the Mac version
and Unix source (SDL libraries required)

Try to beat my high score…1563

Then – and only then – read the creator’s statement, and play it again.

I’ll wait…

…

Congratulations, you have just experienced games as art. And now that you’ve played the game at least twice come discuss it in the comments, where I have left a more detailed and spoiler-filled reaction.

EA: Level 10 alchemists, Level 1 Tech Support Part 2

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When we last left our heroes, they were encountering fucktardery of the highest order at EA while trying to get a replacement Rock Band guitar. After muddling his way through their horrible tech support, my roommate managed to talk to a real human being who was able to fix the problem. Days later, a new guitar showed up. Even better, there was no accountability attached to the guitar to indicate we needed to return the foot pedal they had mistakenly sent. Gleeful, we were in the process of trying to figure out how to scam EA. Our thought was that we might install the new foot pedal and attempt to return the old one for a SECOND new foot pedal. This would arm us with a spare in the event of a foot pedal malfunction. →  Read the rest