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Crap Dump 10.16.08

posted on October 16th, 2008 by derek

Do we have to?
I hope that the delay in the World of Warcraft movie (which apparently is still being planned) is a result of them deciding to not make it about Orcs and Wizards and all that crap but instead, about the broken marriages, child neglect, olestra o.d.’ing and all that stuff that goes on when people spend all their days trying to get more powerful in a game that has no point and no “end.”

Oh wait that’s already a South Park episode. I guess I’m not that funny. :(

Ok well maybe the hero could be some mama’s-basement-dwelling gamer who gets sucked into the magical WoW world like in TRON and The Last Starfighter and all those other wonderful family classics. And then the movie goes on for two years and nothing really ever happens.

LittleBigPlanet is about a Planet that was raised by Indians, starring that guy from the Simon & Garfunkel album
I guess we all like pretty sorta-2d platformers because they’re all artsy now, and the people who make them are geniuses. Actually this one looks kinda cool, but maybe that’s because boy+girl+sack gives me little starbursts. Seriously though they are revolutionizing the gaming industry by letting you make pretty pictures. And there’s no “end” (why is that in fucking quotes dammit).

lost, not found

EA and Pogo.com get gay married in Austin
Evil Corporate Assholes EA puts lame-o Pogo.com game studio in Austin, TX, because there are a lot of hippies there who smoke weed and don’t give a shit about gaming. From these losers.

Also I WON A FREE SUBSCRIPTION TO POGO.COM from Subway Scrabble, which is bullshit because pogo.com is free anyway, and it sucks. And subway makes you fat. Just ask Mr. Mayonnaise.

2k give IGN a boner because they made some stupid logo
I’m really excited about this new game that 2k hasn’t begun working on because of its new “it doesn’t exist” and “i know nothing about it at all” features. or in other words, there is going to be a bioshock 2 “sea of dreams”, which hopefully is not about another underwater city because that would be totally stupid.

IGN

(oh wait sorry not just a logo a real movie with little girls or something)

Stupid Agatha Christie game that no one will ever play involves poo
I bet some dog took a shit, and then a tennis ball landed on it. Mystery solved.

Kotaku

Bethesdans talk about how smart they are
Aren’t we all really excited to collect plants and have repetitive conversations in the newest best-game-ever, Fallout 3? Of course. These smart guys talk about level design while calling Washington, DC “she” a lot, because they’ve developed a personal, loving relationship with the city in the swamp while making it more real than it ever was.

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