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Dear EA

posted on October 5th, 2005 by jay

Dear Electronic Arts,

On June 28th, Frank Gibeau told Next Generation, "It’s really hard to think of new ideas." Perhaps it’s only because I’m a genius, but I come up with new ideas all the time. I have enclosed two new game concepts for your consideration. A resume is not included because these designs speak for themselves.

Library Simulator – Build the library of your dreams. Decide the layout, build improvements, and take down unused wings. Hire staff to keep peace, shelve books and keep the patrons quiet. Choose amongst dozens of librarians, each with their own special talents and interests. Develop the collection to best suit your demographic, or attempt to move the library in a new direction and capture more demographics. By preventing your library from dipping into the red and keeping your patrons happy you can keep it open indefinitely, which is good because you’ll want to see all of the new technologies that will eventually become available to your library, assuming you fund the research. Choose a time period to start in. From steel gates and torches to auto locking magnetic doors and fluorescent lights, there’s a time period for every player. Don’t like the Dewey Decimal system, use Library of Congress!

3d Underwater RTS – Wage war as either the lost Atlantis mutants or human invaders. Witness Atlantis’ amazing underwater civilization and military base as well as the human’s giant submarine, capable of traveling both below and above the ocean surface. Play as Atlantis and control units such as the standard battle minnow, the water darkening octopus, the fierce and deadly great white, the whale transporter, the water to surface piranha launcher and the electric eel, which is easily killed but can short circuit the humans machines. Or choose the humans and use standard diving militia, jet propelled androids, torpedo attachments for your sub, aqua armored special marines, and remote controlled mini nuclear subs. Role-playing as the King of Atlantis, launch covert missions to cut off the humans air supplies or play as President Bush and dump barrel after barrel of toxic waste into the ocean, slowly poisoning Atlantis society.

It seems I alone can solve this creativity problem your company is having. Both of these ideas came to me this morning and I haven’t even had my coffee. Under your guidance and free caffeine, just think of what we will be capable of. My email can be found at the bottom of this email. I expect nothing under 60k as a starting salary, but will relocate without your financial assistance.

Looking forward to working with you,

JS

2 Comments

  1. Cornelius Sherle said on February 25, 2017:
  2. Francisco Mcilvaine said on February 25, 2017:

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