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Grandma’s Boy – Hitler’s secret revenge?

posted on December 18th, 2006 by jay

In a recent post, a blogger at Joystiq mentioned the game that was featured in the movie Grandma’s Boy. He also shared his opinion of the movie by calling it, “freakishly awful.” This drew an overwhelming response from readers who adore Grandma’s Boy. Since I have only a handful of fans to alienate, I will now go on record as agreeing with Joystiq.

This may seem a bit elitist, but before I tell you how terrible Grandma’s Boy is, I need to mention I saw the movie with three other people and touch on our credentials. Most people who insist the movie isn’t a pile of shit argue that those who dislike it are either non-gamers or have never used illegal drugs. It’s true that none of us were smoking anything while we watched, but we were drinking. On to our qualifications: We have varying degrees of gaming knowledge, ranging from very little to very well-informed. We have varying amounts of illicit substance experience, ranging from none to “how are you still healthy?” And we all have at least bachelors degrees.

Even the monkey’s career has been ruined by this movie.

Here are some of the movies one or all of us enjoy: Dumb and Dumber, anything Mel Brooks, anything Woody Allen, Beavis and Butthead, anything Monty Python, Anchorman, the Jerk, the Pink Panthers, anything by Christopher Guest, the Naked Gun, Airplane, Big Lebowski, 40 Year Old Virgin, National Lampoons Vacation, Austin Powers, Waynes World, I’m Gonna Git You Sucka, Super Troopers, Wet Hot American Summer, anything Neil Simon, Happy Gilmore, Billy Madison and a million others.

I apologize for all that. There’s no way to win a battle of opinions, but I still want to circumvent any attempts at writing off my hatred for Grandma’s Boy. The audience I saw the movie with knows games, knows drugs, we like stupid and smart comedies and are educated. All this being said: god-fucking-damn-is-Grandma’s-Boy-a-terrible-piece-of-shit-movie. Should I assume the people who enjoy it are also keeping Saturday Night Live on the air?

My theory on why Grandma’s Boy is well liked by gamers is one I’ve been working on for a while. The focus of my research used to be on answering the question of why so many people love Penny Arcade because I have always found that comic to be significantly more popular than it should be. Conveniently, I found that there is a parallel between the insipid movie and mediocre comic (besides my being wrong about both and an arrogant ass).

Gamers, like other demographics, love to have their egos stroked. They love specialized attention and can’t get enough inside references that only they understand. The feeling essentially stems from an infantile desire to feel special and unique like a god damned snowflake. Indeed, some of us play certain types of games and some don’t, but before we articulate these differences do they really matter or even exist? There may well be a large number of people who adore staring at the moon, but until this practice is defined and separated from other practices through language, we cannot differentiate ourselves from them or join them. Thus, Penny Arcade and Grandma’s Boy are actually crucial in creating the identity of the gamer. The problem is that we are so thrilled that someone is talking to and about us, and only us, that we have relaxed our standards of quality.

This is all to say that Grandma’s Boy is the antichrist. Plus, it was written by a lobotomized non-gamer. Lines like “The texture mapping is very Miyamoto” may impress gamers who spend a lot of time thinking about how awesome gaming culture is but gamers who actually know about video games will immediately realize that the line, like the entire movie, is an inaccurate, vacuous attempt at gaining credibility.

I may not like Penny Arcade very much but there is no denying its authenticity. But should gamers embrace a counterfeit like Grandma’s Boy as a mirror which creates and defines our identity? It’s likely that schisms over multiple issues do indeed exist between different groups of gamers. By identifying a category of gamers who do not look for accuracy or talent in their entertainment, I hope I just created a group that craves those very same things. Damn, this Foucault is tricky.

5 Comments

  1. Matt said on December 19, 2006:

    I’ve never seen the movie, but if no one on the web talked about it, I can’t imagine it was good in any fashion. Silent Hill wasn’t that great, but we all talked about that one for weeks. And yeah, you hit the nail on the head with your assessment of the situation. While watching Silent Hill, I was getting all giddy at the fan service it had, but once I started to think about it, it wasn’t that great. It’s definitely in the list for best movie/game adaptation, but still not as good as other movies. And I am really starting to hate Adam Sandler movies. I know his Happy Madison produced this one because every actor is the same ones in all of his movies. It gets annoying after awhile.

  2. Katy said on December 20, 2006:

    you definitely don’t have to be high to like grandma’s boy. i was stoned out of my mind and i still thought it was retarded.

  3. Chris O said on December 22, 2006:

    My authority to comment on this movie is entirely derived from
    living with someone who claims that it was the greatest movie ever.  One of my roommates had me watch Grandma’s
    Boy, and being both too furious to continue watching beyond the twenty minute
    mark and yet also too lazy (read: in college)  to leave my couch, I settled on the compromise
    of just getting very drunk and falling asleep. 
    Sadly, all I had was light beer and it took me what seemed like days to accomplish
    my goal, and I ended up seeing a fair, if not distorted portion of the movie.

    All I can muster for now is, “eight beers did not make this
    movie any better,� and speaking from some experience on the many things that
    can be improved by eight beers, my comment should say volumes about the unwatchableness
    of Grandma’s Boy.

    About the gamer.

    My roommate considers himself an extraordinary gamer because
    he knows an unusual amount about Mario Cart 64, and owns a “vintageâ€? Mario
    Tennis 64, which he takes out on special occasions to show guests. 

    And did I forget to mention that he smoked his way to a 1.8
    GPA?  He is preparing to be academically
    dismissed from school because he needs pot to function and has, in what may be
    an unrelated matter, become almost completely nocturnal.

    I think, to refine Jay’s point maybe a little and to work
    from Katy’s comment, that if one considers oneself both a gamer and an avid member
    of the cannabis community, but most importantly has a fragile ego in dire need of
    self affirmation, then this movie probably is the best thing around.

    Also, I like the website.  I use it to stay informed
    well enough to make a friend of mine (who works at an EB) seem like an amateur.Finally, this is Pat’s cousin Chris, I probably should have mentioned that at the top of my comment.

  4. pat said on December 23, 2006:

    hey chris, thanks for coming by.  i wasnt sure my coercion had been effective.  i have never seen this movie, but since i respect the opinions of both jay and chris on most subjects (including the list of things drastically improved by eight beers) im going to assume its terrible, but probably watch it anyway.  partially because i torture myself in various ways just for the hell of it (possibly just to feel something?) and partially because i would eventually like to be able to join the conversation on it.  

  5. shota said on May 19, 2010:

    Any movie that features a character who is “unable” to stop masturbating after being caught in the act (which would presumably require only that you TAKE YOUR HAND OFF YOU COCK) deserves my attention. Grandma’s Boy is that movie. I’d watch it again, but only with Jay and only after having watched all 26 minutes of “Everybody Loves Hypnotoad,” again.

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