In this first ever issue of Morning Glory, we see the typical setting of two gamers talking. One day we might see three gamers talking, or even four. This morning only required two though, so only two there are. Bring forth gamers one and two.
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It’s the typical setting of a conversation. There are two people. One fellow clearly favours the food, whilst the other obviously doesn’t favour it as much.
Porky decides it’s his turn to start off a deep and meaningful conversation. His expression suddenly turns sullen, and he takes in a deep breath.
“Hey man.”
“Hey.”
Porky fucks up starting a deep and meaningful conversation. Nevertheless, he ploughs on with vigour. He takes another deep breath, as if launching into a long speech.
“Have you heard about Manhunt 2 being banned in Europe? That shit’s fucked up man. It shouldn’t happen. I can’t believe it also got an Adults Only rating over here. It’s going to seriously dampen the sales of what could have potentially been a runaway adult hit.”
Porky presents a good argument. The Other Guy decides to reply, almost nonchalantly.
“Yeah I heard about it. Shame really.”
From the look on Porky’s face, you can tell that he didn’t appreciate The Other Guy’s reaction. His cheeks manage to puff out a bit more, and start wobbling. In fact, his whole body starts wobbling like a giant piece of man-shaped jelly. He retorts.
“SHAME? SHAME? It’s a damn sight more than a shame! It’s a breach of our civil rights! In this day and age, in an apparently civilised society, this shit should not be happening. As adults, we should be allowed to choose what content we want to view, what games we decide to play, what fucking MUSIC we want to listen to! If the BBFC and ELPSA continue to think that this is right, before we know it we’ll have apartheid all over again! Apart from this time, gamers will be on one side, and everyone else on the other!”
The Other Guy has a simple answer. His voice is slow, and his says his next two lines with all the consideration of a dog pissing against a tree.
“Next time you decide to morph into full-on hippy mode, tell me. I’ll go stand in Africa.”
I’m left wondering…what was that?