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Peripheral Disdain

posted on June 14th, 2008 by Don
Now Playing: Contra 4

Hate Goes HERE

My girlfriend is pretty solid into Mario Kart. This was made clear to me when we started dating, that any attempt to usurp her Mario Kart dominance would be met with pure and unfettered force; the kind you would expect from the core of an exploding sun.

Not one to back down to that sort of challenge, I wrapped up my attempt at her throne in a pretty bow and gave it to her, a shit eating grin slapped on, for her birthday along with Mario Kart Wii and an additional wheel. This additional wheel, it was for me. For me to use to kick her ass.

Before you lose your dork-load trying to tell me how amazing the GC controller is and how lame we are to be using the wheel it should be mentioned that her golden path of pwnership was swathed wide with a wavebird, and that these wheels we got – we got them for fun. You remember fun, right? It’s in games sometimes.

Anyway, we run the gamut. We play the cups and I get my ass handed to me four out of five times as expected. We get some extra karts, we unlock more cups; all of this is your standard Mario Kart Wii goodness. The only issue is the battery changing.

I have a girlfriend who loves to play with my Wii, and by Jesus Christ I want her to be playing with my Wii. I’m dropping mad dollars on batteries at this point, though, and that is just not right. The solution: A charging dock. We got one of those nifty charging dock dealies with the little battery packs and the base covered in LEDs and our four ‘motes were happy and charged.

We fired up Mario Kart so that she could again pull my ego out through my asshole and something happened. Bloop – bloop – bloop – BLEEEEEEP! The race starts and I am driving in a little left handed circle. My girl is tearing through the course but at nothing like the pace she is used to, and she seems to be holding her wheel off center to go straight.

I have no idea what’s going on. When I hold the wheel straight up my dude wants to go to the left. I switch the ‘motes and it is the same story all around. I reset the Wii; same deal. I swap the wheels because I am desperate at this point and even though this makes NO sense, I hope over hope that it just might work.

No deal.

A month goes by. We’ve been playing the way God intended, with the ‘mote and nunchuk combo, and are still a bit fumed that for some unknown reason our Wii Wheel experience is packed sixteen different ways with dysfunction.

Just tonight my girlfriend started up the Wii and plugged her ‘mote into a wheel. I shook my head, knowing that this was but a path to despair, and then – like a goddamned lightning bolt – it hit me: this happened DIRECTLY AFTER adding the rechargeable battery packs!

Was the weight difference, a very noticeable one, messing with the ‘mote’s center-point?

Yes, in fact. Replacing the rechargeable pack with a standard set of crap-assed gas station batteries made our karts dead center again.

Now I’ve got to figure out how to add weight to my charger packs. That or play Kart at an odd angle.

Teh sux0rz.

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11 Comments

  1. randyrandall89 said on June 14, 2008:

    It’s probably not to do with the weight, more so with the lower voltage that the rechargeable battery packs tend to use (1.2v as opposed to 1.5v)

  2. Stefan said on June 14, 2008:

    I’ve been using 1.2v rechargeable batteries (not the packs, just standard AA rechargeable) since my first set of wiimote-bundled japanese batteries ran out of juice over a year ago. The weight feels pretty much identical, but I hadn’t considered the voltage issue. I’m going to try swapping them out and seeing if I notice any improvement in my control.

  3. don said on June 14, 2008:

    I’m telling you, we’re using the “React” rechargeable dock and batteries and the ‘mote feels about 3/4 the weight of one with your standard alkaline deal.

  4. Christian said on June 14, 2008:

    we need a chemist’s scale for an accurate measure of mass

  5. Eric said on June 14, 2008:

    Do what I do, just use rechargeable AA batteries. Not only are they exactly like crap-assed gas station batteries in size and weight but you can use them in your xbox 360 controllers as well. I have a set of ten with one 4-battery charger. Works perfectly for all my controller needs.

  6. DiRT said on June 14, 2008:

    You do realize that weight has nothing to do with it, right? It might make you support one side more than the other with your hands, but as long as it’s flat it doesn’t matter if one side is lighter than the other.

  7. randyrandall89 said on June 14, 2008:

    I agree. Trying taping your Wii remote to a brick, it will work in the same way- it will just be more strain on your own wrist. I would put money on it being a fault or design flaw with the rechargable pack.

  8. bruce said on June 16, 2008:

    I just use AA rechargables, already had a ton because so much crap around our house is powered by AA’s. They give me no problems using the wheels. And Mario Kart Wii is one of only a few games I can beat my wife at consistently, despite rarely playing myself.

  9. scott said on June 18, 2008:

    Hey Bro.. Relish in the fact that she can spank you in Mario Kart! I made the mistake of Red Shelling my girlfriend (who is my wife now) 15 years ago and she doesn’t play as many games with me since then. ;)

  10. Josh said on July 23, 2008:

    Thanks. I also have the react recharging station and also experience the same exact problem. I would have never figured it out without your help since I have never used normal batteries. Sure enough soon as I popped in regular batteries it became straight again.

  11. Ken said on November 28, 2008:

    I have the same exact problem. It is the battery packs… nothing to do with weight. Must be a voltage problem. Anyone want to join me in assaulting React via e-mail? They need to fix this.

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