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Tale of the Tape

posted on July 22nd, 2007 by christian

This could be interesting. Lawsuit between Silicon Knights and Epic Games. Possible SNAFUs with the Unreal 3 engine. The perfect recipe for speculation, drama, and endless blogs and articles.

Its also the perfect opportunity for violence. Who here wouldn’t want to see a fight between Epic’s Mark Rein and SK’s Dennis Dyack? Both are loudmouths for their respective companies, fellas who won’t stop gushing about their own product, but rarely have anything nice to say about anything else. I think it would be the best way to settle this issue, especially if it means one of them gets knocked out for a couple of months.

But wait – we can make it better. Lets just do the whole thing WWF style. Out of nowhere Cliffy B. comes into the ring with a steel chair, knocking Dyack out and parading around the ring with Rein. It all seems over until Julian Eggbrecht comes in from under the ring, delivering fierce clotheslines to the Epic employees in a desperate bid to aid a fellow expatriate of Nintendo development. The ring is all carnage, until the epic music cues, and David Jaffe appears by the Jumbotron. He’s calling them all out for a tag team battle royale, with Jaffe as the guest referee. And yes, this time it’s for the belt.

Of course, this will then be followed up by the Mikami/Kojima/Suda Triple Threat for the Intercontinental title.

Only on pay-per-view (paperview?)…

2 Comments

  1. TrueTallus said on July 23, 2007:

    Paperview sounds like a great library marketing public service campaign. “Why watch PayPerView at home when you can see Paperview LIVE!- at your local public library!!” -queue bodacious rock solo as a sweaty unpleasant looking guy with big muscles shoves a library card toward the camera- “Reading… HARDORE! TO THE MAX!” and then some quiet, public radio station sounding voiceover saying “this message brought to you by the literacy counsel”. It practically sells itself. (I don’t really know much about wrestling, so the best I could do is nitpick about spelling errors and get in a mention of libraries. Spelling is cool, right?)

  2. jay said on July 23, 2007:

    Spelling is so 4th grade. Grammar is where it’s at.

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