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Weekly News We Care About Wrap Up – 5.14.07

posted on May 19th, 2007 by jay

Starcraft 2 is coming
Golden Jew was wrong. He is hereby stripped of one hundredth of his massive pile of gold coins, crowns, and swords. I’ll give it back when the Starcraft MMO comes out in two years.

Rare to broaden 360s audience with all age friendly games
But also don’t rule out that they will make mature games, says Microsoft’s Peter Moore. They will or they won’t. They may and they may not. I’m glad Moore cleared that up.

Rare is fascinating because Microsoft seems to think Rare can change the Xbox brand image and because I have a theory that Nintendo makes their second parties what they are. On the first point, Rare will fail. Microsoft is taking the same attitude towards appealing to the mass market as they took when attempting to appeal to the Japanese — “one or two games should do it, now let’s sit back and wait for the money.” Shockingly, Blue Dragon didn’t sell seven million 360s in Japan, and Viva Piñata didn’t sell four million 360s to kids and grandparents.

Too scary for old people.

This seems slightly unfair when compared to Nintendo’s luck. Animal Crossing did sell millions of DSs and Wii Play sold millions of Wiis. The key differences are past image, price point, control scheme and advertising. So basically everything.

Nintendo has always been known as a family friendly company and Microsoft, Sony, Sega, etc have mocked them for it. Unfortunately, when you focus on the hardcore and mature games one generation, it’s not easy to appeal to everyone the next. Then, of course, Microsoft has gone over in Japan like evolution in Kansas.

There’s also the price of hardware. A kid can convince his mom to buy a $150 DS for Animal Crossing much more easily than a $300 360 for Viva Piñata. Why will an old person spend $250 for a Wii but not fifty bucks extra for a 360? Because the remote appeals to them, the controller does not. And more importantly, because they’ve never heard of Viva Piñata but they’ve seen the stupid “Wii would like to play” commercials a million times.

As for Rare being a great company once mostly because Nintendo owned them, we will have to continue to wait and see. It’s probably an offensive stance to take, especially if you have company loyalty that blinds you from the amazing quality control Nintendo has always exercised (that was at least half ironic). I’m anxious to see Silicon Knight’s new games, too. Can they achieve Eternal Darkness quality without a strict, angry Japanese man watching everything they do?

Sony unveils big lineup
Not many games I want to play on this large list, but it certainly looks better than the Wii’s sad lineup. It’s interesting that almost all of the PS3’s exclusives are first party titles. Sony seems to be trying to out-Nintendo Nintendo. The last company to try that was Sega, and no offense Sony, but you can’t make games like Sega. Come to think of it, I’d rather play Ratchet and Clank while being checked for polyps than play any of the new 3D Sonics.

Well, Lair certainly looks good.

Metal Gear Solid 4 will not be compromised for the 360
If executives at Konami plan on making this an exclusive then Kojima is telling the truth. If execs have decided that it’ll be on the 360, Kojima is lying. Anyone who believes otherwise is stupid or in love with Kojima and wearing Snake underwear. There is too much money on the line to not consider both versions of MGS4 while designing, and considering the pathetic userbase of the PS3 right now, Konami would have to be suicidal to make it an exclusive.

Ziff Davis losing more money
I wrote an article on the future of gaming magazines and was scolded by one of the heads of 1Up.com in the comments. Because I’m a pathetic, bitter shell of a man, I want to gloat for a moment — Ziff Davis is losing money and, in my estimation, wants to sell their magazines off because off this. I was told losing money had nothing to do with their motivation because they make money when new consoles launch; it’s cyclical, he said. Well, not any more.

Fine, so this doesn’t prove anything. But EGM enjoys verbally ravaging their readers every month in the letters section; it seems only fair, as a reader, to now mock them for sucking.

http://www.1up.com/do/newsStory?cId=3159603
Guy pees on PS2
I don’t care about this story. It’s stupid. I care about grammar and word usage. You know, the exciting stuff! The man who peed on a PS2 was not electrocuted any more than you were drowned when you stayed under water for a minute and came up gasping for air. If you are alive, you were not electrocuted, you were shocked. Perhaps geniuses who urinate on electronic equipment should be dead for the greater good of our gene pool, but that’s a different debate.

Joystiq gives us impressions of Heavenly Sword
And it’s a nearly worthless article. Take a look and notice how long it takes to mention gameplay, the depth he goes into when speaking of the protagonists hair, and how there isn’t any word on if the game is amusing or achingly boring.

OMG CHEK OUT THA HARE!!!!111

Big 3rd parties lose out because of Nintendo
This line of reasoning is painfully retarded. It comes from boardrooms of executives who look at charts of games shipped, sold, market penetration, and other pretty pictures that tell them nothing of the quality of their games. To a soulless businessman it may be cut and dry — Nintendo makes games that steal your games sales. To anyone with either a soul or brain, it’s apparent that Nintendo makes significantly better games than nearly all third party titles on their systems.

Examples of underperforming games given in this article are Tiger Woods and Call of Duty on the Wii. I’d rather play Wii Sports Golf than Tiger Woods because I’m tired of my backstroke registering as a full swing. And I’d rather not play anything than play Call of Duty on the Wii because it’s not very good. So yes, EA, when you release shit and Nintendo releases good games, Nintendo will take some sales from you.

Ueda’s team possibly working on two PS3 games
Must…fight…urge…to sell sperm and plasma… and…buy…PS3…

2 Comments

  1. pat said on May 19, 2007:

    two games from team ico? thats very likely to be two games i want on the ps3. add that to games from the rest of the lineup i want and thats… two games i want for the ps3. glibness aside, a few of the games on the upcoming list look decent also. the r&c games are all pretty good, lair looks fun and littlebigplanet at least looks interesting. goddamn it, i guess its only a matter of time until i fold.

  2. GoldenJew said on May 21, 2007:

    I was wrong. I hang head with it’s pouch of gold in shame. I guess WoW makes Blizzard so much money they can release SC2 and not care about profit. I’m curious to see how it shapes up.

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