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Weekly News We Care About Wrap Up – 9.29.06

posted on September 29th, 2006 by jay

Opera free on Wii until June ‘07
Though I have absolutely no proof to support this fear, I’m worried that browsing the web on the Wii will require a subscription. Imagine some horrendous system that costs something small like 2 Nintendollars or whatever every time you open the browser. That would seriously limit the time I’d be able to spend on the couch watching interracial pornography with my parents.

I don’t remember playing as an aging guy with a mighty war flute.

Microsoft makes up for broken consoles
Wow, good for them. Does the tracking chip they implant in the machine come free of charge?

The old RPGs are coming
At least in Japan. I may have to play Final Fantasy 6 again, but that’s ok since it’s the pinnacle of the series (Cloud is teh suxx0rs). It’s a shame they didn’t give it the Final Fantasy 3 treatment, though that could be because they plan on remaking 6 for the PS3.

It’s odd that Sega is releasing the Phantasy Stars again. The GBA had a compilation of 1, 2 and 3 and the Saturn had a compilation of all of them. Instead of re-releasing them, why not focus on butchering 4 with a terrible remake that alienates old fans but sucks too much to attract new?

Square-Enix to support all consoles
Says the vice president, “We don’t want the PlayStation 3 to be the overwhelming loser, so we want to support them. But we don’t want them to be the overwhelming winner either, so we can’t support them too much.” Such arrogant douchbagery should not go unpunished so to show them I will only buy Final Fantasy 3, the DS Secret of Mana, and the DS Dragon Quest spin-off. Oh, and the other DS Dragon Quest spin-off, the slimy one. But I won’t buy the Mario Basketball game, take that, Square.

Also, according to the article, Squeenix may remake more Final Fantasys for the DS since the remake of 3 raped Japan. So hopefully I’m wrong about a new version of 6 coming to the PS3.

The HD DVD player is so inconspicuous I barely noticed it.

360 HD DVD player to cost $200
The only HD DHD player I could find retails for $500. If someone pays $400 for a 360 then $200 for the HD DVD player, they get both HD DVD capability and a game console for $600. The problem is that this is also the price of the PS3 so Microsoft no longer beats Sony when it comes to affordability. Also, a Blu Ray player is something like a thousand dollars, so if you’re some kind of asshole who needs a Blu Ray player now then buying a $600 PS3 is a better bargain. Ultimately, even if it isn’t much of a steal, Microsoft’s strategy is far less scummy because they allow the consumer to decide if they want to pay for the fancy format ability.

Guitar Hero confirmed for 360
Guitar Hero on a system that’s got a strong internet service is very appealing. Being able to download new songs every month sounds too good to be true. Here’s an even better idea, though. Make the game for the Wii. Have a slot in the guitar controller for the wand. Make the player on screen mimic the motions of the human player. Allow for individual songs to be recorded so we can make our own videos of us jumping and running around while playing the guitar over our head and hitting every note. Then let nerds swap videos and post them on their nerdy blogs.

Stupid people box Uwe Boll
More movie critics have gotten their asses beat by the talentless director Boll, and frankly they deserve it. Fighting the guy only allows him to believe he has somehow come out on top, even though his movies would still blow if he beat up every person on earth. Boxing Boll to prove he makes bad movies is like entering a knitting competition with George W Bush in order to demonstrate he is a terrible public speaker.

“Look, mom, I’m good at something!”

Moore mentions the Wii again
Microsoft’s Peter Moore has now mentioned the Wii60 concept a few times. Nintendo fans take it as a compliment rather than the insult it more likely is. By speaking of the Wii as a second place contender, Moore is actually dismissing it. His remarks make it clear that he sees Sony as a rival and Nintendo as a quirky kid brother.

Gamestop selling counterfeit games?
Now, I hate Gamestop with a passion. I preferred the competition of the other enormous game retail stores and I dislike being sold used games as new. That said, it seems unlikely the store is now selling counterfeit GBA games knowingly. Ignorance is only a good excuse once, though, and now that this story has been all over the interwebs the store needs to train its employees how to spot fakes. Or maybe they don’t care if they’re selling counterfeit games. They have to come up with some way to edge out competition from such paragons of business ethics as Circuit City.

1 Comments

  1. Twins Shinguards said on June 4, 2009:

    Interesting Blog.

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