videolamer ignoble

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Writers and people who write despite never being able to generate income with their meager abilities all know that for every published great American novel or 200 word blog post, about ten times as much never sees the light of day.  The world may never see a finished version of Kafka’s The Castle or whatever Camus was writing when Gunpei Yokoi ran him down with his car, but now the unpublished works of the videolamer staff are archived in a place accessible to all.

We present to you a trove of our lesser writings, things we were not proud enough to post here on this main website. We present to you videolamer-ignoble. When you have read everything on videolamer.com and even endured the material from the 00s but still have hours of time to fill at work, try this exciting new repository of mediocre content. It may be less entertaining, not as well written, and overall fairly rote but it will still help pass the time. →  Lose belly fat now!

Immobile games – Mobile games that play like console games

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I have less time sitting at a desk (or couch) at home than I used to. I have a device that is more powerful than ever in my pocket, and I’ve found myself turning to that device for entertainment from time to time.

When I’m not entertained by doomscrolling or getting fed a deluge of AI-authored content (or content I’d prefer to think was authored by AI), I’ve been trying to find games that don’t addict me with pretend gambling, or for that matter real gambling. I’ve also been put off by free games with built-in advertisements. While it took a while, I have succeeded in the last year or so in playing mobile games that do not have these common mobile-game features. Here is a brief list of them for your enjoyment, because lists are the foundational content of the internet.

Kyen & Bylina: Retro PC-styled RPGs with a touch interface
These are inspired by an older mobile game series called Gurk, which is no longer available without side-loading because of OS version limitations. →  I’m readin’ here!

Thinking about the Genesis library: Part I

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The Genesis of the Idea

I’ve been sitting with an unfinished version of this post for half a year. Making up incorrect theories about the Master System is fun because few people actually care enough to be mad at me, but the Genesis is the big leagues. I’ve settled on splitting the ideas I have about the Genesis library into two main parts, one about their first party output and one about third party support. This gets a little muddled because I cover internally developed, developed by a company Sega owns, and at times third party games published by Sega in this first post that’s supposed to be on first party efforts, but I try to clarify what is being discussed.

Similarly to the thesis of my Master System writeup, Sega did the majority of work supporting the Genesis with games – Sega developed 80 titles internally for the Genesis, while Nintendo internally developed 24 SNES games. This was done both by direct development but also a large number of publishing deals. →  Castle Readigami 2

Wednesdays with Andrew Gaiden – Sega CD

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Prior entries in this series: Introduction | NiGHTS into Dreams | Virtua Racing and more | Virtua Fighter 2 and Daytona USA

Long before Andrew came to me, tears in his eyes, confessing his immense regret for not buying and exclusively playing the Saturn – which resulted in the world famous Wednesday’s with Andrew series (everyone on Neptune has read it) – we spent significant time (upwards of 3 hours) playing Sega CD games. Or more like he would come over and have an adult conversation with my wife while I would force the controller into his hands and demand he play whatever new disc I had just popped in. Whatever the case, we played a fair number of Sega CD games and even enjoyed some of them even if I deliberately focused on inflicting pain with most of my choices – as any good friend would. What follows is the chronicling of our time spent playing together, or at least some random observations and jokes. →  18 Wheeler American Pro Reader

My growing collection of game collections

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My friend Shota and I were arguing the other day about what is to be done. He took what I would describe as a mild and possibly self-defeating attitude regarding ideology and he accused me of an all or nothing approach that was ultimately more likely to paralyze than inspire. I see value in clearly defining the mountain we are moving towards regardless of if we ever reach it. It provides direction and can keep us from chasing waterfalls, or even making phony calls. Our conversation was vague enough to be applicable to the desire of achieving world socialism or the viewing of every episode of Double Dare. Of course both of us are much more mired in the academic than actual praxis because we generally desire to be seated on couches rather than interacting with strangers.

Shota’s incremental position may seem politically defensible to cowards unwilling to have grandiose, unprovable ideologies that implode the moment they meet reality but it has been my experience that the absence of a grand vision hampers coherent video game collecting. →  Max Post 2: The Fall of Max Post

How many games does it have?

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In the olden days, the number of games on a system was an important consideration for prospective customers. Magazines would track this information and ads would sometimes mention numbers. Children on the street wouldn’t stop telling you how many games their console had. There was a time when the early 16 bit (and 8 bit masquerading as 16) consoles came out and only tens of games were available. This was partly the result of the 8 to 16 bit console changeover being the first generational shift in the modern game system era as we know it. The Atari 2600 to NES transition was atypical in that, at least in the US, the console game market was in ruins. Plus, as opposed to Atari during the market’s adoption of Nintendo, the NES was still making companies a bunch of money – Sega and NEC were less proven, especially in Japan and the states respectively.

Today, it’s understood that a new system may launch with only 10 or 20 or however many games but more will be coming soon, so competitors rarely boast of the number of titles available on their platform. →  Rule of Read

A crisis of middling proportions

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There are many kinds of crises. A crisis can be a conflict between a god and a religion like some Jehovah’s Witness guy wrote about that one time, it can be a moral crisis like the characters in the Dostoyevsky books, or it can be a misspelled FPS people use as a benchmark for graphical power. Crises can be humanitarian, financial, or oil-based. Some say fascism is capitalism in crisis. I say fascism is not a useful term and we should develop new language for new things, which is why I will call the next world war a warld wor.

In my case, the crisis may be one of a center of longevity, or for you people who insist on reusing words, a midlife crisis. These things can be hard to detect, however. Resurrecting this website may be the most obvious sign of a midlife crisis to those who know I first started it when I was 23, which was now 20 years ago. →  Lame is what happens when you’re busy making other plans.

Reviewmancing Saga – Romancing SaGa 2: Revenge of the Seven

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I often feel that things I have missed out on are better than things I have experienced. I’ll occasionally read a breathless article about a game I haven’t heard of that does something unique, and I want to experience it. Trying to stay on top of modern games coming out is difficult on its own, to say nothing of entire backlogs’ worth of games that we never saw even back when the United States wasn’t a dystopia. This odd form of nostalgia-FOMO is often unwarranted. I’ll occasionally pick up one of these games to find it isn’t particularly compelling compared to what we got, but the feeling remains. Romancing SaGa 2, though, is worth the play, particularly in its remake form.

The Romancing SaGa series, originally on SNES, has been fully accessible since its remasters about a decade ago, but they are dense games at best, convoluted at the worst.. My experience with the Romancing SaGa 2 remaster was initially positive, but it is a difficult game to understand, it has very frequent combat, and it requires quite a bit of fiddling with each generational change (which can happen at least a dozen times). →  Ultima IV: Quest of the Avatarticle

Almost Famous – Dice, Scavengers, and Bastards

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The idea that publishers and platform-holders determine the games the vast majority of people are aware of through marketing, promotion, and their ensuing hype is appealing to a critic of consumerism such as myself. What appears to be freedom of choice is actually a heavily curated set of options presented by million and billion dollar corporations; our choice is largely an illusion. But at the back of my mind, I worry that this may be overly simplistic and the argument that quality games will be found by an audience seems compelling. And then I find a game like Circadian Dice, which reinforces the initial premise – an awesome, smartly designed game that never found the large audience it deserves.

This is the first post in a series on unpopular indies and will be driven by the pursuit of discovering more Circadian Dices – more games that should be much bigger than they are. Perhaps it will be a fruitless endeavor, maybe we will discover almost all worthwhile games are surfaced and I managed to find a needle in a hay stack, or we will learn production values are tied to game quality so intrinsically that it’s almost impossible for a small, niche game to be amazing when it looks bad and controls terribly. →  Who is that standing behind you?

Wednesdays with Andrew – Virtua Fighter 2 and Daytona USA

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Prior entries in this series: Introduction | NiGHTS into Dreams | Virtua Racing and more

Another day, another 1/7th closer to the day Andrew and I play Saturn games. Our playing is getting far ahead of these write-ups as sitting on the couch, controller in hand is moderately easier than telling chatGPT to write these things then performing deft copy/pastes, so let’s say this session took place in November of 1986.

Fighting never felt so virtual

The first time I remember playing Virtua Fighter was at Six Flags Great Adventure in the new Jersey. It may have been the visit I was finally tall enough to ride Lightnin’ Loops and Free Fall. My brother repeatedly told me in vivid detail about the woman who was scalped because her hair got caught in the gears at the top of the Free Fall cage before it dropped 30 trillion feet or so. Virtua Fighter was fun and smooth, and not at all like losing your scalp to a ride malfunction. →  All happy games are alike; each unhappy game is unhappy in its own way.